POWER, RELATIONSHIPS AND COMMITMENTS
Now we look at our relationships with other people with white privilege as well as your personal values and commitments to antiracism
YOU AND WHITE FEMINISM
I was asked the following questions:
To what extent has your idea of feminism been under the issue of gender only?
How has your feminism neglected or minimized the issues of BIPOC?
How has your feminism rejected, discounted, or simply ignored BIPOC leaders?
How has your feminism been white-centered?
If you are someone who has called yourself an intersectional feminist, in what ways have you been centering BIWOC?
YOU AND WHITE LEADERS
I was asked the following questions:
Knowing what you now know about white supremacist behaviors across Days 1–22, how do you respond when you witness white leaders behaving in these white supremacist ways: When white leaders tone police BIPOC? When white leaders claim color blindness? When white leaders use anti-Black tropes or racist stereotypes? When white leaders practice cultural appropriation?
When white leaders practice optical allyship and white saviorism? When you have witnessed white leaders practicing these behaviors, how do your own white fragility and white silence get in the way of you asking them to do better?
How does your fear of loss of privilege and comfort hold you back from asking white leaders to do better?
How aware have you been of whether white leaders you follow are doing deeper antiracism work? How much of a priority has it been for you to push them to go beyond the visual effect of diversity?
If you are in a leadership position, how do you plan to respond to your own behaviors going forward? How do you plan to hold yourself accountable to doing better?
YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS
I was asked the following questions:
How have you responded when you have witnessed racist words and actions from these people in your life?
How have you stayed silent or made excuses for them in your mind?
How have you thought it was not worth the hassle because of the discomfort of rocking the boat? Or how have you seen it as your responsibility to address it with them since you have more influence over them because of your friendship?
Are there certain people you feel more comfortable speaking up to than others? Why is that?
Are there certain people you continue to stay in friendship with even though they are problematic and refuse to change?
How have you risked these relationships by calling in/out racist behavior, even if nobody was going to thank you for it?
How do you feel about your friends who are not doing their own personal antiracism work?
What efforts have you made to invite your friends into doing antiracism work with you?
How have you allowed your friends to influence you not to engage in antiracism work?
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
I was asked the following questions:
How do you feel about speaking up about racism and white supremacist beliefs and actions to your family members?
How have you excused or ignored your family members’ racist behaviors because addressing them seems too difficult and you want to keep the peace?
How have you excused your elders’ racism because they are “from another time”?
If you are a parent, how do you speak to your children about racism beyond “we don’t see color”? How early did you or will you speak to your children about racism and white privilege?How early did your parents or caregivers speak to you about racism and white privilege?
What racist beliefs have you internalized from your family?
To what extent do you place white comfort over antiracism in your family?
What are some ways in which you can begin to have deeper conversations with your family about racism?
How do you allow perfectionism to get in the way of having racial conversations with your family?
In what ways do you (or can you) organize your family to show up for BIPOC in your communities? Not from a place of white saviorism but rather by volunteering at and donating to anti-racist movements and organizations being led by BIPOC in your communities?
YOU AND YOUR VALUES
I was asked the following questions:
To what extent have your values helped your ability to practice antiracism?
What contradictory values do you hold that hinder your ability to practice antiracism?
What new core values and beliefs do you feel you need to integrate after doing this work in order to better practice lifelong antiracism?
How has your desire to be seen as a good person with white privilege prevented you from actually being “good”?
YOU AND LOSING PRIVILEGE
I was asked the following questions:
In what ways will your privilege need to change in order for you to consistently practice antiracism?
How will you need to change the way you take up space for and with BIPOC?
How will you need to show up differently for BIPOC? What risks must you be willing to take?
What sacrifices must you be willing to make?
What comforts must you be willing to lose?
In what ways will you need to take greater responsibility?
How will you need to decenter whiteness and the white gaze?
How will you need to lose privilege and safety in your friendships, workspaces, businesses, families, spiritual communities, and other white-centered spaces?
Are you willing to lose your white privilege after everything you’ve learned here?
MY GOALS:
Three concrete actions
I will stand up to my family about racism. To do this, when I am with them and I hear them saying hateful things I will stop them. I will tell that that what they’re saying is not okay. I will explain to then why it is not okay. And I will try to help them be better. I do this because it needs to stop. The hateful things they are spewing is bad enough, but they’re also passing it down to future generations to be the same way. For this, I will hold myself accountable because it’s hard to go against family.
I will not partake in optical allyship. I will not just say or post something to prove something to myself or the people around me. To do this, I will make sure that I can back my words up with action, education or both. This will largely be done on social media—always but most often with inequality is the subject of popular conversation. I do this because I need to practice what I preach and only action and education lead to change. I hope that my peers on social media will hold be accountable.
I will ask more questions; I will learn more and I will accept when I am wrong. To the people around me—friends of color and white friends, I will ask them what I can do to be better. I will ask them how I can help most efficiently. I will ask them what they think I need to change. I will also apologize when I am wrong and not with an “I’m sorry but…”. I will make mistakes, but when I do, I will be willing to accept that I was wrong, apologize and do better next time. I do this because I have a lot to learn and I do want to learn. I hope the people closest to me will hold me accountable.
Commitment statements:
I am committed not to hide in my white silence because to do so is saying I am okay with inequality.
I am committed to verbally and financially support organizations like the Black Lives Matter movement and black artists.
I will continue to learn more about my own white privilege by being aware, asking questions and referencing materials like this book.
I am committed to accepting I will make mistakes along the way but apologizing when I do.
I am committed to teaching ignorant people about their own white privilege so that they can further better themselves.
CITATIONS
Unlearn racism photo: https://www.smith.edu/ssw/bulletin/uploads/p_447.jpg
President photo: https://miro.medium.com/max/666/1*7zkuIemZ2raDfPoOLjFdfA.jpeg